In the final weeks of 2022, I was driving home from a particularly heavy therapy appointment and processing aloud with my dashboard, and it was in that sacred space that Harmony Motherhood was born. But, much like the transition to motherhood, I was naive and ultimately unprepared for what it takes to start a business. It’s been about 3 months since I began and I want to share some my reflections on Harmony Motherhood’s “fourth trimester.”
When I had my daughter, I didn’t care for the term “the fourth trimester.” Pregnancy had not been an enjoyable time for me; honestly, I just wanted that season behind me. I did not prepare for the rest and nurturing I needed and jumped immediately back into patterns of denial through overworking and over-commitment. If you followed me on social media, you probably would have seen photos of me holding my baby in one hand and writing lesson plans with the other, just days after she was born. I truly cringe looking back at those photos now. I needed so badly to be held and nurtured, but instead, I turned to what has always been more comfortable to me: doing, doing, doing.
What has surprised me most about starting this business is how vulnerable it is to start something new and make it visible to others. I have always struggled with insecurity and imposter syndrome, and as I continue to heal myself, I find the urge to continue doing, to maintain and uphold that image that I am always working. If you see how much I’m doing, you can’t really see who I am. That urge to stay just slightly visible but ultimately hidden is strong. Friends have reached out to ask how I am “doing it all,” and the truth is, I’m not. While there are many demands on my time and energy, these past few months have also held the space and nurturing I didn’t grant myself postpartum, and I’m finding it isn’t too late. Much like having a baby, starting this business has allowed me the opportunity to heal parts of myself I’ve been too scared to show.
Harmony Motherhood has already shifted significantly from what I initially thought it would be, just as I have. Last month, I turned 32, and my journal entry from the morning of my birthday reads, “Here’s to a year of clarity and visibility–removing blocks and healing patterns.” My dream is for us to do that together.
I’m confident that I will continue to make mistakes and that Harmony Motherhood will evolve as I continue to. I’m proud to say that what I’m offering now is straight from my heart–not because it’s what I think others want from me but because it’s genuinely what I believe I’m meant to share.